How the gift of a witch is inherited. How witches and sorcerers die How the gift is passed

Dreams. We constantly dream of our old house in Siberia. Still, the best years of childhood passed there. Our village is located right in the middle of the taiga. Around the hills, overgrown with forest. Whichever way you look, there is only taiga around. I really love the forest, this is my element. When, after a frosty winter, rhododendron blooms in spring, we called it wild rosemary, the entire edge of the forest becomes purple from flowering shrubs. Harsh, wild, indescribable beauty!

Childhood memories, homesickness. I haven't been there for many years. I'm drawn there like a magnet, I can't help it. The obsessive memories grew into a need, even the need for my trip to my homeland. I drop everything, get ready and go home, to my homeland.

When I was little, we lived in Transbaikalia, in a small village between Ulan-Ude and Chita. I often visited my grandmother, spent almost all the time with her. People who she treated constantly came to her. She whispered something, poured something on the wax, spoke. Treated children and adults. Very often she was invited to the farmstead to treat animals. People came from Ulan-Ude and Chita, she was known there too. Grandmother did not refuse anyone, she treated everyone. She often told me then: “Look, granddaughters, people need to do only good. Never deny them this. Someday you will do good deeds. When your time comes." My grandmother was very pious, every day, morning and evening, she knelt for a long time and prayed. I did not attach any importance to her words then. I heard from her many different stories about witchcraft and those who practice it. Then I perceived her stories as ordinary scary, but interesting tales.

In Transbaikalia, I still have relatives - my own paternal uncle with his family. When I arrived, I was warmly welcomed, helped to get a fairly prestigious job for that time in the city, not far from the village. Previously, the village where I spent my childhood was a prosperous lumber mill, but when I arrived, the mill was already closed, there was no other production, and in general, complete devastation reigned. There was nothing in the village that I remembered: no stadium, no club, no library, not even a bathhouse. It seemed that civilization here was ten years behind the region from which I came. Everything has changed for the worse. No perspective?

At that time, I often thought about who my grandmother gave her gift to. She herself said that a person who has a gift must necessarily pass it on - either to a relative or to someone else. The black sorcerer cannot die at all until he transfers his power to another. Sometimes you have to gouge a hole in the ceiling so that the sorcerer can die. My grandmother taught me what not to do if you suddenly find yourself next to a dying sorcerer or witch. For example, you can’t brush away garbage from a dying person, otherwise everything will pass from him to you. You can’t take a dying person by the hand if he asks for it, this is also fraught with consequences - evil spirits torment. One of my grandmother's stories stuck in my memory.

The old village witch dies. She hasn't been out of bed for over a month now. The old woman knows that she has already outlived her own. Only one thing keeps her in this world: she must pass on her skill to someone. And until this is done, she will suffer, suffer, but she will not be able to die. It won't work any other way. She will not be allowed to die in peace. Even death has only one thing to do - stand by and wait. Her own daughter refused to take power from her. There was no one in the whole village who would agree to this. Everyone knew well what the old woman was doing, and they were afraid of her. The witch could, at will, heal or spoil both people and cattle. Various rumors circulated in the village, and they also said that the witch turns into different animals at night. Most often she was seen in the form of a huge pig of an unusual appearance. One such incident happened.

A man was returning home from the guests late at night. And when it was already quite a bit to go to the house, a huge animal blocked his way. A pig stood in the middle of the street and silently looked at him. The moon shone brightly, and the peasant could clearly see everything in every detail. The pig stood a few meters away and was really huge. Her eyes burned with a reddish light. The peasant even lost all his drunkenness from fear, although before that he was pretty drunk. A terrible picture, and all this in complete silence. Not even the dogs barked. Finally, the stupor passed, and the peasant, waving his hand, shouted: “Get out of the way!” In response, the pig rushed at him and knocked him down.

Having fallen, the man did not lose his head, but snatched the knife that he had behind the top of his boot, and, dodging, slashed the pig on the head with the knife and cut off its ear. Then she, squealing wildly, rushed to run. The man picked up the severed pig's ear and put it in his pocket. Arriving home, the reveler fell asleep. The next morning he was awakened by a demanding knock on the door. A woman from the next street stood in the doorway. Her head was bandaged, and with malice in her voice she said:

Give me my ear.

What ear? - did not understand the man. He had already fallen asleep and did not remember anything.

The one you took. Give it back, I say, in a good way, otherwise it will be bad, - the woman repeats.

And the peasant remembers everything that happened at night: both the pig and the ear, which he first cut off and then put in his pocket. All this seemed to him just a terrible dream. Yes, but the neighbor does not dream, she stands on the threshold and demands to give her an ear. And what was his horror when, putting his hand into his pocket, he pulled out a human ear! Human, not pig. Pretty frightened, he gave his ear and even asked that the woman not tell anyone about this. But all the same, the whole village found out about this incident, and he himself told it when he realized what had really happened. The sorceress did not appear in the village for a long time after that.

The old witch was not alone. She had a daughter and granddaughter who took care of her. The witch, unable to bear the torment, decided on a trick. After waiting for the moment when she and her granddaughter were alone in the house, she said:

Granddaughter, take a broom and sweep the floor near my bed, otherwise it’s somehow dirty.

The girl, suspecting nothing, took a broom and began to sweep the floor. When she was finishing work and was about to sweep the trash onto the dustpan, the daughter of the sorceress returned. Seeing what the girl was doing, she screamed, “What are you doing!? Look!" Grandmother lay with her eyes closed and did not breathe. She died.

Quickly mark all the garbage back to the bed and put a broom on Grandma's chest. Hurry, otherwise it will be very bad, - the returning woman said to her daughter.

The girl did just that. And when she put the broom on the chest of the deceased, she suddenly took a deep breath, opened her eyes and said:

It seems I fell asleep. So I felt good. I haven't slept so soundly in a long time.

You didn't sleep, you died. Shame on you for doing this to us! Now you will lie and die here alone. We won’t help you anymore,” her daughter told the witch.

This story ended with the fact that a hole had to be hammered in the ceiling of the house. Only after that the sorceress was able to die. When they wanted to take the coffin with the dead witch out of the yard, they could not do it. Seven healthy men could not move the coffin. I had to seek help from another sorcerer from a neighboring village. The sorcerer has come. He had a whip in his hands, he clicked the whip and said:

K..., S..., U..., come with me.

Then he turned around and left. Only after that the coffin could be taken out of the yard.

Grandmother explained to me that the coffin was held by devils. And the sorcerer called the devils by name and took them with him.

So to whom could my grandmother give her gift? Maybe uncle?

I'm visiting my uncle, we sit at the table, we have dinner. And in the meantime, we're having a conversation. I started talking about why I still decided to move here to live. And my uncle said a very interesting thing:

And we called you.

What was it called? I asked.

Pipe, he replied.

At that time I did not yet know what it meant to call a person, and even into the chimney. Only later did I learn that this is one of the simplest magical operations. And to do this is not at all difficult. But then I had no idea about all this. And my uncle avoided my further questions. So I remained ignorant.

No, it still doesn't look like the uncle was given power. He does not do healing. He leads a normal human lifestyle: family, work, household and nothing else. Then to whom?

And on the eve of Holy Easter, my late grandmother comes to me.

I'm standing on the porch of my house. My grandmother comes up to me, she is the way I remember her, old. She asks me:

You will come to me?

Of course I will, I answer.

Come, I'm waiting for you, - says the grandmother.

I had a bad aftertaste after this dream. I was even a little scared at first. I just knew that if a person dreams of the dead and is called to himself, this means his possible imminent death. But I quickly got rid of these thoughts. This dream meant something completely different!

In the morning, as planned, I went to the cemetery to clean up my grandmother's grave. Cleaned up, swept, straightened the grave. In general, he did everything that was needed. He took a handful of earth from the grave and took it with him. Why I did it, I don't know. But I know exactly what happened to me there, at the grave.

That's it, I have nothing more to do here at home. I understood why this pilgrimage to my native land was necessary. Now there is nothing to keep me here. Mission accomplished. I did what I had to do. And I, saying goodbye to my native places, went on the way back.

I wanted to dedicate my life to doing what I believe should be done. Got it yourself - share with your neighbor. Law of energy exchange. By sharing, you get even more. I started going to church often. Passed the sacrament of baptism. When I was in Siberia, I was told that I was not baptized, but immersed by my grandmother. So I decided to do everything right. I was very grateful to God for giving me the opportunity to live. At one time I wanted to become a priest and devote my life to serving God. Friendly relations began with the priest who baptized me. But apparently God had other plans for me.

And sorcerers have long existed on earth. Their life was shrouded in mystery, people were afraid of them, but often came to them for help. After all, a witch is really able to give a person what he wants. The soul of a witch is in the power of the devil, communicating with demons through special rites, she receives the necessary knowledge for her predictions.

In the physical plane, people with supernatural abilities are just as ordinary as everyone else. That is, they go through the main life stages in exactly the same way: birth, maturation, aging. However, death is not easy for them. There are many stories about the death of famous witches, but they all have a certain pattern.

Giving her soul to the dark forces, the witch, roughly speaking, rents her body to them. Everyone has heard that sometimes psychics and mediums can speak in a voice other than their own. For example, a woman may suddenly growl during the ceremony, say something in a frightening hoarse bass, although such an opportunity is physically absent in her voice. This phenomenon can be traced in people possessed by evil spirits. But witches are also possessed, but their consciousness is able to control their obsession, and the demons living in them are very cunning and resourceful.

How a witch passes on her gift before she dies

When the time comes for a witch to die, her evil spirits need a new "home". This house should be a person who does not mind selling his soul to the devil in order to adopt witchcraft abilities. If such a person is found in advance, then the witch dies calmly, transferring her demonic energy to him. According to eyewitnesses, the successor (usually a young unmarried relative) for some time holds the hand of an old sorceress, who lies in bed, waiting for death. If the witch has no relatives, any daredevil can receive the “gift”, at his own peril and risk. If people from her environment flatly refuse to accept her energy, then the sorceress begins to rage. She pours threats and curses, throws objects, showing superhuman strength.

When no one is around, the witch is doomed to hellish mortal torment. If the witch is very strong, then something very terrible happens to her. She physically feels how her body is covered with ulcers, begins to decompose and rot. But she cannot die, because the demons have nowhere to "relocate", and they keep her. Her own soul is already leaving for the afterlife, and the body continues to live under the control of spirits. She becomes something like Baba Yaga from fairy tales.

There are not so many powerful witches, but ordinary bodies still die. But their spirit remains in the house, which inspires a lot of fear. People who know how to ease the death throes of a sorceress are advised to dismantle the ceiling above her head.

Incredible Facts

Every person has hidden abilities. And they are all different.

Among us there are those who, in fact, could heal people. Most of the time, we don't even know that we have these abilities.

Healers are present in every culture, religion and nationality.

How do you know if you have the power to heal others?

If you are endowed with such a gift, then most likely there are certain signs around you that signal this.

It is important to understand them in time.

All you need to do is just take a close look at your own life, examine your personal qualities and determine if you have hidden abilities.

Below is list of signs by which healers can be recognized.

Signs of the Gift of Healing


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1. You are told that it is always calm and comfortable next to you.

2. People in close proximity to you, rarely get sick.

3. You always make sure that others feel good. You are endowed with a great desire to help them, even to the detriment of yourself.

4. You have previously been diagnosed anxiety attacks, panic attacks, or sudden mood swings. Or are you exposed to all of this right now.

5. You have a lot of empathy for people.


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6. Do you there were healers in the family either the profession of a grandmother, great-grandmother, or someone else from the ancestors was associated with medicine.

7. Sometimes you have difficulty breathing or you feel butterflies in your stomach when you are in public places with a large crowd of people.

8. You have a deep connection with animals. And they love you and are happy if you are around.

9. Strangers suddenly start telling stories from their lives.

10. You are great do you know how to massage, even if they did not complete special courses. People often ask you to relieve muscle tension or scratch your back, not knowing about your skill.


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11. You regularly experience neck and shoulder pain.

12. You enjoy being outside.

13. You are attracted crystals and their metaphysical properties. You love them not only for their natural beauty, but also for the healing power they possess.

14. You are interested in spiritual sciences such as energy healing, shamanism, acupuncture and other similar things.

15. You have a high level of awareness, which means that you sensitive to certain foods and drinks.


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16. Sometimes you feel chills in the body, warmth emanating from the depths of the heart, or you feel a sudden tingling, throbbing and trembling in the palms.

17. You are able to feel emotions, experiences, as well as feel the physical pain experienced by another person.

18. You already work in traditional medicine. Perhaps you are a nurse, doctor, physiotherapist, massage therapist, or veterinarian.

19. Entering a room, you can immediately determine what happened in it before. You can find out if there was a quarrel or something else unpleasant.


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20. You are the one who is often turned to in search of comfort, problem solving and good advice in difficult times ... And you always help.

21. You feel that only you can solve some of the problems of other people.

22. You feel exhausted at the end of the day, especially when you have to communicate with a lot of people.

23. To you small children stretch even if they are shy and afraid of other strangers.

24. You want people to feel comfortable when they come to visit you at home.

Ancestral Gift and Power

We have already figured out what a Magic Gift is. Now it's time to consider what the Ancestral Gift and Power are.
In this part, I do not want to talk about those people who simply declared themselves HEREDITARY, about those who say that he (a) is a SUPER HEREDITARY MAGIC, TAROLOGIST, WITCH, HEALER, etc. etc. because they are precisely because they are hereditary.
In principle, it is now fashionable to talk about supposedly one's offspring and hide behind this brand in order to earn big and very big money. No, of course I understand that this is a fashion trend and all that, but about these "Super Hereditary Mages", etc. I’m not even talking close now, because for greater importance they have second, third and fifth rows of teeth, they have gills and eyes on the back of their heads that they hide from everyone under their hair. There are a whole bunch of variations for greater importance and coolness, and sometimes it comes to complete absurdity.
Now I want to talk about something else. In my previous article, I already said what a Magic Gift is, we analyzed it using the example of Vasya, Petya, Sveta and Vera and realized that we need to work on ourselves and a lot. But there are some people who were given the Gift and Power along the lines of the Family.
Let's take a simple example.
For example, Vasya's family has an expensive gold chain that is passed down from generation to generation. Someone wears it, someone just takes it out and admires it and puts it in a box, and someone just keeps it ... And so it continues from generation to generation. With this chain, you can do everything ... except for one thing, transfer this family heirloom to third parties ... And now our Vasya meets Sveta, who also has a relic of the columns))) or Vera, who does not have such a family heirloom ...
So let's consider what will happen if Vasya marries Sveta or Vera.
In the case of marriage to the Light, they betray their relics to the wallpaper of the child. In the case of marriage to Vera, then there is only one gift of a family heirloom ... As we can see, everything is very simple.
Almost the same thing happens with the Ancestral Gift and Power, only you do not decide to use this Gift for you, but the Higher Forces decide it for you. For some, it is pronounced, and it must be developed and used (you are wearing a family heirloom), for others it manifests itself because the Higher Forces have decided that you should not use it due to your condition and other qualities (it lies in a box), and for others it manifests itself spontaneously - such people attribute such a manifestation to intuition, dreams, premonition and all. (taken out looked and put back). The Higher Powers themselves know who in the family he (the Generic Gift) should manifest and when it will be. And it also happens that two kinds are combined and then two Gifts are combined into one (chain and pendant).

In any case, it does not matter what manifestations of the Generic Gift you have, it is important to accept what you have..
When many discover in themselves certain manifestations of abilities that have not been manifested, for example, in at least three generations, they begin to deny what they have. It doesn’t matter what kind of manifestations these will be - mantic, the ability to create the effect of destructive magic (evil eye, damage or foresight of death in loved ones or not close people), empathy, healing people, mediumship and many other options for abilities, people begin to be afraid of them and deny that they possess them. In this panic state of fear of these manifestations, they begin to drown out, remove and ignore these manifestations. The person believes he is not normal (although who can claim the standard of normality) and begins to try his best to be NORMAL. There are many options for such attempts, the worst is when he convinces himself that these are manifestations of a mental illness and, strange as it may sound, he begins to be treated for this. And now it seems that the person has recovered, and it seems that there are no more of these so-called abnormal manifestations, and the person with relief says to himself EVERYTHING I AM NORMAL NOW ... I HAVE BEEN CURED!!!
And here comes the second phase. Troubles, illnesses, depressions, conflicts, etc. begin to fall on a person as if from a cornucopia. A person is mired in a web in all this .. and stronger and stronger. Here the situation of a person complaining about his life, fate begins to develop, he does not understand why it all fell on him and from where this black streak in his life began ... And your manifestations of the Generic Gift again begin to manifest themselves in life .. And you begin again to suppress and treat all this, initially denying what is ... And so the running in a circle begins .. Only now, with each circle, the problems are getting harder and the manifestations are getting stronger ...
People who do not look for the original cause in such a situation and run around in circles ....
And there are those who find in all this the intrigues of the Great and Universal Evil, and begin to go to church intensively, hit the faith, and as a rule become fanatics .. but still, nothing changes in their life.
There are worse options - people become drug addicts or alcoholics because only in this state they find peace.
Still others, being in constant psychological stress, decide to end their lives by suicide .. because they see no other way out of this situation. But the worst thing, in my opinion, is that none of them will connect everything that happens to them with manifestations of the Generic Gift and Power ... No, rather, on the contrary, they will take all this as another minus in their life and that mess in which he cooks.
But you can solve this ever-larger problem that gives rise to even bigger problems - to find the true reason why this is all the way it is in life and not differently. Since this is given to you, it means that you need to develop and use it, you must follow this path and develop, otherwise the Higher Forces and the Ancestral Gift will be turned against you.
The fundamental law is that you cannot deny yourself.
This law cannot be circumvented, circumvented, deceived ... You need to understand that your Generic abilities will manifest in you when you are ready for them and when the Higher Forces decide that you are ready and your time has come. Any denial of what you have creates a boomerang effect
- The more we deny, the more you are forced to accept them
Moreover, they are forced through problems (this is if reduced to a minimized version). Health problems, problems in life are a wake-up call for you - it's time to develop and apply what you have from birth according to the Family.
You ask me - are there other ways to solve this problem? I will answer right away - Yes, they can be transferred to someone else directly or indirectly, or try to block them partially. But this is actually done very rarely and only under one very important condition IF YOUR GENERAL ABILITIES ARE DESTRUCTIVE. In other words, if you got the direction of destructive magic, then you can refuse them.
Another thing is if you have light abilities (although for me there is no color distinction in magic). Here you need to measure yourself with this, although you can try to betray the Gift, but only to the Magician (and others by inclination) who will express his desire to receive your Ancestral Gift, alas, you have no other way out.
There is a choice in how to live with the Generic Gift. Here you can choose options:
- If you think that you do not need it at all, then you can come up with a development program for yourself according to which you will live on. Here you need to turn to a magician who will help you choose a set of practices (spiritual and practical) that will take you time, but will give a minimum in development (for example, meditation and work on yourself). It will be a relief for you and you will be able to live in harmony with yourself and your Ancestral Gift, and you will also be able to use these manifestations for your own good.
- The path of development of the Ancestral Gift. In this case, get ready for the changes that will take place in all your life areas and around you. I will warn you right away - WHEN YOU START ON THIS WAY, YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO TURN BACK. You will have only one way - the WAY FORWARD. And you must be aware that the Generic Gift may manifest in your child who was born or will be born in the future.
At the very end I want to warn you. If you still decide to give your Family Gift, then you give with it both a part of yourself and the legacy of the Family that lived in you.

By blood, we receive one or more of the "seven forces of the family", otherwise they are also called rights. There is a right to health, money, luck, knowledge, power, mission (service) and love

There are three types of transmission of power: ancestral transmission by blood, transmission from person to person, and education (apprenticeship) in tradition.

BLOOD TRANSMISSION - in our understanding of genetics. This includes abilities, talents, but also attitudes - elements of generic memory that form an attitude towards something. By blood, internal status is transmitted, as an unconditionally felt right to a certain place in life.

By blood, we finally receive one or more of the "seven forces of the race", otherwise they are also called rights. There is a right to health, money, luck, knowledge, power, mission (service) and love. Not every family has all these rights, but almost everyone has one or two.

Everyone gets strength by blood! But not everyone can take advantage of it. In order for the power to become yours and bring benefits, it must be felt and developed. More often than not, we do exactly the opposite. The strength of the ancestors is rejected as obsolete. One of the reasons why this happens is that we confuse the quality of power and its manifestation in the realities of time.

For example, an elderly mother lives modestly, she won’t spend an extra ruble on herself. The daughter, by the nature of a spender, condemns her: “stingy, she doesn’t know how to live!”, Although she runs to her mother just for money. And she gives. And to dig deeper, so there was not a single distressed person in the family on the maternal side. Everyone from an early age worked, earned money, slowly overgrown with good. It’s just that the times were such that it was customary to put aside for passbooks, invest in bonds, and there was nothing special to spend on. That is, the cash flow of the family, if not strong, but stable. And the daughter, with her dislike for her mother’s lifestyle, her habit of looking at prices, going to a store where it’s cheaper and not buying too much, refused to give birth. Here she has money like in the sand and flow away.

More recently, some hundred years ago, children followed the fate of their ancestors. Of course, there were exceptions, but still the son of a blacksmith most likely became a blacksmith, the son of a carpenter - a carpenter. Not only fate was transmitted by blood, but also, as they say, reputation. "I am a blacksmith, and my father was a blacksmith, and my grandfather was a blacksmith, and my great-grandfather ..." - this was the best "guarantee of quality" and stable "bread".

The fact that we now have the right to choose any fate, any type of activity is not bad. But you need to understand that if you choose something completely different from what your ancestors owned, you will not have to rely on tribal strength. It will be necessary to work out everything on your own, without support from above, relying only on your own strength and intuition.

TRANSMISSION POWER is the combination of skill and learning with the spirit. Usually, personal transmission is spoken of in the context of folk healing or magic. The grandmother-herbalist chose the most nimble and attentive of her granddaughters, and began to slowly teach her, took her with her to collect herbs, showed what was happening. And dying, she called to her, put her hand on her head and whispered something. After her death, the girl began to slowly repeat her grandmother's recipes, but also her habits, and over the years she became just like her, both in appearance and in character. In such cases, it was said that the grandmother had a spirit, and this spirit "passed over."

The spirit was understood both as a force and as an essence - an assistant, invited to help and existing in a symbiotic relationship with members of the genus for many generations. Popular knowledge has preserved the descriptions of the rituals of inviting the Helper (do not frighten with the "agreement with the unclean" and seances!).

It cannot be said that all the cases when the elderly taught something to their grandchildren were accompanied by programs, but nevertheless this happens quite often. Many times I heard from people, "I have a feeling that someone is helping me." Or, "I know that when it's hard for me, my grandmother from the other world supports me." Often behind this is precisely the connection with the ancestral spirit.

The spirit of the family usually goes to one person from a generation, lives with him until the end of his days, and then passes to another. This partly explains why, as they say, "nature rests on the children of geniuses." The fact is that creativity can also be a spirit. Gifted - not in vain they say ... Many talented people in the old days were considered almost obsessed. We also know the stories of people who suddenly acquired their gift in their mature years, under the influence of circumstances associated with death, with the transition ...

If a transfer has been made to you, then it is better for you to accept it. With the right handling of power, your intuition will certainly sharpen, your abilities will increase, you will have great influence over people. But if you do not accept it, then, on the contrary, internal conflicts, depressive states may aggravate, there will be a feeling that you are not living your own life.

True, there is a third way - to accept and refuse, that is, to expel the spirit. But I would think carefully before doing so. The fact is that ancestral spirits never come into the genus by chance. This is the once made choice of the eldest person at that time in the family, which was supported by many generations and served the goals of the survival of the entire tribal system. If you don’t feel the need for them now, it doesn’t mean that it will always be so. Before my eyes, people made different decisions related to ancestral strength, and I can say that refusal rarely brought something good. There was a case when a woman took out of the house and handed out grandmother's icons, inherited from her along with the house. The house burned down that same year. Another refused the gift of healing and became seriously ill herself.

I will also add about the spirit that it can be either a companion (assistant) of life, or a servant, but it should never be a master. We can let him become the master ourselves, if only we show lack of will. Knowing our power, we acquire power over it and can already choose how and where to direct it.

And, finally, the third type of inheritance of power is EDUCATION IN TRADITION. Everything that our ancestors taught us, what values ​​they instilled, became our strength. A person becomes stronger when he follows traditions. And it weakens when I go with the flow, I react reflexively to the events of the current day. Everything to which we put will and effort makes us stronger. And only in human weaknesses there is no strength.

To understand what power you have, it is enough to answer yourself the following questions:

What traits of my character have I inherited from my ancestors?

Who were my ancestors, how did they glorify themselves?

What traits of my ancestors do I respect?

Can I say about myself, "I, as (my ancestor) achieved...?

Do I feel like a part of the family (surname)? Why?

What (what qualities) can I bring to my family? how to strengthen it?